Online dating for dummies

July 27, 2014

If you read my July 18th post, you know that I am on an online dating site. Well, actually, I am on two of them. But before you think out loud,” Bless her heart,” let me point out that the second site is free. Does that make me seem less pitiful in your eyes? I hope so.

And if you know me, you know I’ve done my research about what kind of photos to post and what kind of information to include in a profile. Based on that research as well as almost seven (long) months of experience with online dating, I have composed a short list of some basic DOs and DON’Ts. These tips will come in handy if you ever find yourself on an online dating site. (It could happen.)

  • Tell the truth — about everything. But understand that everyone else isn’t necessarily telling the truth.
  • Post at least one photo, or, preferably, more than one. I really don’t think it’s necessary to go overboard and post 10 or 12 photos. I would recommend that you post two or three photos that show what you really look like right now. Ladies, no glamour shots, please. Also, I have found that some men who are on these sites want to see a full-length photo, but I declined to post one.
  • While we’re talking about photos, please keep in mind that your potential date wants to see what you look like — not what your family members, pets or cars look like. It’s fine to include a photo of you with a family member or with your car or with your pet. And, please don’t don a ball cap to disguise your comb-over or wear sunglasses to hide your crow’s-feet.
  • In addition, realize that you may offend your potential date by if you include photos of dead animals whose deaths you have hastened. Examples are a dead deer on the hood of your ATV or a dead fish that you hold up for the camera so we can all see how big it is.
  • Further, I do not recommend showing an interest in a someone who states his or her marital status as “separated,” legally separated” or “married.” Come on, people — these folks are still in the throes of matrimony! You never know when a cray-cray spouse is going to hunt you down and kill you and take a photo of your lifeless body sprawled on the hood of an ATV.

And now for three of my pet peeves:

First, always use correct grammar.

Second, always proofread your responses before pressing the ENTER key. Use spell check if possible, even if you have to cut and paste a paragraph or two into a word-processing document and spell check it there.

Third, in response to the question, “What is the last book you have read,” Don’t answer “Sports Illustrated.” I can assure that you’re not fooling very many people with that answer. I would estimate that a fair number of people who actually read books also like sports, and I would wager that most of us know that Sports Illustrated is a magazine.

Tell me — what are your pet peeves about online dating?

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6 Responses to “Online dating for dummies”

  1. Rick Watson Says:

    Fun post Jane, and I don’t think it’s pitiful that someone would want to find someone to spend time with.
    If I were single I would try online services. I doubt I be looking in bars for mates.
    I think honesty is the best policy too. What you see is what you get.
    R

  2. Jan Jenner Says:

    Love your post, Jane. I trust you are gathering these adventures into a larger work. such good writing should not go to waste. Plus, you always make me smile and often laugh. Sometimes out loud. XX JJ

  3. Samuetta Says:

    Love your blog. I like the pictures of men posing with young women.


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